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AoD: Chapter 15 Later that night, many miles away in a cave was a woman, a witch to be exact. She sat among the other imprisoned wizards, humans, and other creatures. Of course, it was all the work of the Dark Lord and his minions. The witch had long brown hair, some of it flowing down her back and the rest to her chest. The right side of it seemed to go down longer. She wore a strapless dress and appeared to be young, but was actually in her 50's in human years. There was a blue jewel around her neck. It was a custom for all witches to wear the birth stone of their month of birth around their neck. Her legs were shackled, but thankfuAoD: Chapter 15
by ~AgeofDragoons
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I know, I probably wouldn't do the same thing because I'm just uber lazy. Just...I want to know what people think, hell...I don't even know if people are reading them! x_x Still...I just want to know if something is good or bad, did you spot a typo or grammar mistake, very creative crtizing if all I care! I just want comments!!! DX *sniffles* 
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The story jumped back and forth from one place to another in a quite confusing manner but that isn't my main gripe.
The main problem is that the characters didn't seem believable enough they seemed to be just rehashes of different cliches.
They may be minor charaters for all I know but it's still important that they seem somewhat believable.
You could try to make a make a backstory for each of the more important characters and flesh out their personality somewhat. There's a reason why they act like they do, right?
But keep on writing and you will get better thats for sure.
B.t.w. the art is quite good.
Ok the first chapter is more like a prolouge, it's there to start off the story. My more recent chapters has gone into the "flashbacks". So it would be nice if you actually read more than one chapter to give criticsm such as yours.
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I'm Wizardmon in dA's Digimon Crew.
Derp.
Yes I know my username is childish, I've had it for years. I refuse to get a new account anyway!!!
^_^
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All that has ever been created was done so for a reason, even if that reason is just for it to be.
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~genuinegirls
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Nice idea to make a new account for your story. It's easier to follow the story line when there's no other art stuff in the gallery.
Keep up the good work! ^_0
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~Myri Freezefire -- "Seeing isn't always believing. Sometimes it's the other way around."
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Getting stick in your airvents since before they were invented
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